Why Your Partner's Affairs & Cheating Isn't About You: A New Perspective! What's your mindset when it comes to emotional healing after cheating and affairs? This topic often comes up in conversations with my older sister, who believes I'm jaded and detached from reality. She always says, “Angie, you've been in Miami too long; you're not in the real world. Affairs and cheating are not normal!" We often agree to disagree. However, in today's world, it’s clear that women are more beautiful than ever, and people are more accessible than ever, leading to an increase in affairs and a decline in monogamy.
So, what can we do about it? For me, I believe life is about minimizing suffering, and one way to do that is to evolve by adapting our mindset to thrive in the modern dating world.
After posting my video on this topic, I received significant pushback, as if I were excusing affairs & cheating. To be clear, I am not. I aim to provide guidance on emotional healing and how to reduce suffering when faced with infidelity. Betrayal is incredibly painful, and today’s betrayals can be far worse than imagined. Partners living double lives, years-long affairs, sex and drug addictions—the list goes on.
Angela Jean
Let’s dive into the three key points to help you find peace within, and navigate your emotional healing journey after affairs have come to light..
Key Point #1: Cheating and Spiritual Journeys
Affairs & cheating is about their spiritual journey, not you. We often internalize cheating when we need to zoom out. Stop making it about you and understand that we are all here living individual soul journeys.
We need constant teachers, lessons, and experiences for expansion and growth. It is never a reflection of your worth or value in the relationship. Sometimes, if you’re not showing up as a good partner, even that leads to spiritual expansion and growth.
The cheater is seeking to heal something or feel something, seeking their own emotional healing. They often don’t know what it is until they get there, which is why a cheater may remain a cheater for a long time. There’s something deep within them that drives this behavior. Until they identify and address this wound or missing piece, they will continue to cheat, partner after partner.
Understanding this helps to remove the suffering you are faced with a crossroad on what to do after affairs or any type of cheating. Don’t internalize it; zoom out and recognize that we are all on individual soul journeys. This moment can be an opportunity for mutual emotional healing and the creation of a deep bond.
Key Point #2: Patterns and Relationships
We are all guilty of living habitual patterns in life, which is why it’s so challenging to make change, whether it’s getting in shape, making more money, or achieving any goal. These patterns hold everything in place, especially in relationships.
It’s hard not to sync up and have every day look exactly the same. People often end up in affairs because a new person brings novelty to a relationship that has become habitual. We all tend to become complacent in long-term relationships, so being noticed by someone new is like a ray of sunshine that makes your partner feel warm, seen, and appreciated. Cheating can become the new pattern if we aren't willing to dive deeper into the roots of what truly leads to majority of affairs.
It’s not about replacing you. I might sound dismissive, but it’s about shifting your mindset to avoid internalizing it too much and creating unnecessary suffering. It’s about understanding that those who cheat are not bad; they are seeking expansion and growth, which is a deeply rooted belief of mine.
Key Point #3: Evolving Your Mindset
Choosing to shift your mindset after an affair is a way to relieve you from mental anguish and down a path of emotional healing. Trust me, I understand the complexity of cheating and the mental torture it can bring. Evolving your mindset to this understanding will serve you well.
The dating climate has become very aggressive, and unless you want to suffer, we must evolve our mindsets. It’s not about evolving to tolerate mistreatment, lies, or abandonment. It’s about zooming out and understanding the spiritual expansion and growth our individual souls seek in life’s journey. It's about our own emotional healing that wold not align us with these type of partners. That topic is for another post, for now let's stay focused on embracing a solution based mindset shift. One of understanding in order to forgive in order to move on with grace if necessary.
I’m also curious to hear your thoughts. Do you agree with my older sister that I’m jaded and not living in the real world? Does living in the real world mean holding each other hostage to our expectations? Share your thoughts because that’s essentially what it boils down to—demanding others to obey so we can be happy.
If you’ve experienced heartbreak and betrayal, I understand—I’ve been there too. That’s why I created a free workbook to help you navigate through it. It outlines the exact steps that helped me get unstuck and open my heart again. DOWNLOAD FREE HERE
I have also created a free workbook that I love and personally used to manifest my loving lifetime mate! It wasn;t immedaite, but themen kept coming alowing me to clarify exactly what I needed more than what I wanted...there is a huge difference! He has now become what I want and need and would have never discovered this about myself without this book and aggressive action. Coaches need coaching too, we are all a work in progress.
Conclusion
We must fight to remain rooted in love and keep our hearts open for a happy, peaceful life. Everything I suggest aims to reduce suffering.
Love and Light
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