Take inventory of your social circle of friends A Toxic Friend vs. A Good Friend.
Good friends can be like members of your family. When you find friends like that, hold on tight. Unfortunately, not all are. Some are toxic — not good for you and, honestly, probably not great for the other person either. Toxic relationships can take a serious toll on you: your physical health, your emotional health, your feelings of self-worth, and even your other relationships. Knowing what a toxic relationship looks like — and how it's different than a real friendship — can help you determine if it's time to reevaluate a friendship or two, and save you a lot of heartache in the process.
Angela Jean
A toxic friendship often feels exhausting, frustrating, and disappointing.
It may seem as if the entire dynamic is one-sided. It may also seem like whatever you give just isn't good enough. I like to focus on what we want and what to look for, so let's focus on what good friendships look and feel like. In a toxic relationship, the toxic friend pulls the attention and spotlight onto them, rather than it being a reciprocal back and forth. Say, there's an issue going on and they really need you, but when you have an issue going on, they don't give you the time of day. It shouldn't be all about them and their needs anymore than it should be all about you and yours.
In a good friendship, however, your friend will be supportive the focus isn't always on one person or the other. If you're not getting what you're giving — that's kind of a sign of an unhealthy friendship." Good relationships focus on both friends when needed.
The better the quality of your relationships, the more likely you are to be happy. So, being a great friend to someone and having friends support your back is good for your wellbeing. But what, exactly, makes a good friend? True friends are capable of acknowledging when something is their fault, but also recognizing that it's not fair or reasonable to blame you for anything and everything that goes wrong in their lives. If your friend makes you feel like it's your fault they didn't get a big promotion or their partner broke up with them, it can start to make you doubt your own self-worth and just generally make you feel really down. No one wants to feel like they're the cause of everything bad. Part of the great part of having a good group of friends around you is that you can all celebrate each other's successes and big moments together. Toxic friends, however, look at life and friendships as a competition. If you're doing well, they focus on the fact that they're not doing as well. They get jealous and let their jealousy interfere with their ability to be a supportive friend.
The biggest tell tale sign is how they react to good news in your life!
This is the toughest pill to swallow sometimes and the hardest to understand but I see it more times than not. Part of the great part of having a good group of friends around you is that you can all celebrate each other's successes and big moments together. Toxic friends, however, look at life and friendships as a competition. If you're doing well, they focus on the fact that they're not doing as well. They get jealous and let their jealousy interfere with their ability to be a supportive friend.
Conclusion
Friendship shouldn't be an emotional rollercoaster. Good friends don't make everything a crisis. Good friends energize you, they inspire you, they lift you up.
Always pay attention to how you feel when you spend time with them. Your feelings are the compass guiding you to a better path, so listen to it.
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